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BREAKING NEWS

[UPDATE 19:25 GMT | 28/04/15] The Vice UK website (not Canada) have published the mentioned article with the altered title: Against All Odds, Rollerblading Still Exists in 2015. You can still see the original title in the page URL though.

[17:45 GMT | 28/04/15]
On what appears to be an extremely slow news day, Vice magazine in Canada published, on their website, this provocatively titled article ‘Who the fuck is rollerblading in 2015’:

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/who-the-fuck-is-rollerblading-in-2015

Don't expect to get all the way through it. It's really REALLY boring. Contrary to the aggressive tone of it’s title it doesn't seem to come to any sort of conclusion about whether it's 'OK' to rollerblade or not, but certainly hints at it not being OK with it's Neuro-linguistic seeding of words like 'weird', 'uncool' and of course slipping in the joke to end ALL jokes, as every passive aggressive anti-rollerblading hate article should; the 'What's the hardest part about rollerblading' classic.  The author acknowledges a ‘Do what makes you happy’ philosophy (with the reference of everyone's favorite olderblader 'Slomo') and even says her family 'Smiled until their faces hurt' in reference to rollerblading as a child, yet as if she is willing to Boycott all fun for a shot at being an edgy Vice freelancer she still managed to name the article with enough venom to get her into the Westborough Baptist Church AGM (and onto the desktops of a fair few impressionable hipsters)

In a world which is so diverse as it is today, why are we still talking about whether it's 'OK' to rollerblade or not? It's really boring. For a magazine which started out so anti-establishmentit's kind of ironic that Rupert Murdoch now has $70 million shares in the platform. It probably doesn't seem so hipster and cool now that you know that, does it? I wonder if there will be a day when the stupid idiots writing these articles will suddenly 'click' and realize that being bigoted about somebody's life choice in order to increase your reader's figures is made-up from the same mindset as Racism and Homophobia. Wait for their next article 'Who the fuck said it was alright to be an immigrant in 2015' coming next week!... or maybe they reserve their especially ludicrous bigotry for their sister platform Fox News.

Murdoch-rollerblading

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14 comments

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